What is a faux poo, you may be wondering? It's when you hear that unmistakable rumble come from your baby's bottom. You go over, sniff the appropriate area and conclude that "number two" has occurred. You undress baby, layer by layer. Legs and arms are flaying, baby is giggling. You are starting to get suspicious. You open the diaper. Empty. Hmmmm. That, my friends, is a faux poo. Eliza did it twice today. She thought it was funny.